if you only had one month to live ...

On January 23, Gary Kayye had my Branding of Me class do a stream of consciousness writing exercise with the prompt, “If you only had one month to live, what would you do?” I took a lighthearted approach to the assignment and wrote about traveling and friendship. However, after the tragic plane crash that took the life of Kobe Bryant and eight others just three days later, I began to reconsider this question.

The death of Kobe, a person who was larger than life, has had an impact on the entire nation. It is a reminder of the delicacy of life and how quick the world changes. It makes people squeeze their loved ones harder and gives them a greater appreciation for the life they live. For me, it brought back the question of what I would do if I only had a short time left on this Earth.

Personally, knowing I only had a short time left to live would challenge me to do more of the things that I would be scared to do right now. As someone with an anxiety disorder, a lot of my anxious thoughts are centered around death and uncertainty. That being said, if I knew when my time on Earth would come to an end, I think some of my anxiety would subside. This would allow me to put myself in adrenaline pumping situations that my anxiety would normally not allow me to do. I would want my last month to be filled with new experiences. I would put myself in risky situations and try new things I would not normally have the courage to do.

So why don't I jump out of a plane with a parachute? Why don't I spend days sleeping in a tent at Coachella? Or flying all over the world? There are two parts to my answer, one being that I have had a job consistently since I was a freshman in high school, yet still have no money. The second part to this answer is that I miss out on the opportunity to partake in these grand experiences by placing such an intense focus on the future and ignoring the present.

College students are trained to automatically assume they are not doing enough to perfect themselves for future endeavors, thus leading us to constantly push ourselves to take on as

many responsibilities as possible. The constant pressure to over-perform and become the most valuable candidate for a job or graduate school shifts the way college students prioritize their lives. While preparing for the future is obviously important, we need to take back our right to live in the moment. The future that becomes our number one priority is not guaranteed, the only thing we can be sure of is the present.

But here is the reality, when we witness death it makes us put our lives into perspective and think about how we should cherish every day and every person. However, this only lasts about a week. Then, in typical American fashion, we go back to getting lost in the hustle and bustle of life. Living in the moment can be less complex (and expensive) than abandoning all responsibility and escaping to Ibiza. Remembering to prioritize the things that challenge and excite us in our daily experience is a great way to start living in the moment. So I challenge you and myself to try to do more of the things that make us happy and try to break down the barriers of fear. In the infamous words of Drake, you only live once.

Rest in peace to a true legend.

xoxo,

lexy